Pls take care...

我很常在朋友面前哭..
真的很想控制，
但都控制不了..
每次哭完，
都很懊恼..
“哭屁啊,又不是什么大件事"

今天，因为要做一件事，
所以就找了朋友..
迟钝的我，
接到电话时没听到什么不寻常..
直到听到一半时，
才意识那模糊不清的声音...

放下电话时，
我还在想他是不是受到什么委屈，
所以要离开现场..

等我去到他家时，
隐隐约约看到他那张哭红的脸...
(不敢近看他，远看他时，脸真的是红的）
知道他要去的去向，
就猜到不是我当初想的事..

路途中，听到他不停地吸鼻涕时，
我也很想哭..
我也很想我爸妈..

我妈有一天打给我说，
我爸最近身体不是很好..
前几个星期，
我爸妈出门订货，
我爸突然头晕,冒冷汗
站不稳，几乎晕倒，
肚子不舒服..
我妈超担心我爸..
这个是我其中一个我想他们的原因..
另一个是如果我去USA..
我会有三个月看不到他们..
大考过后，也只有那几天看到他们，
然后匆匆忙忙去USA了..
所以其实，之前就计划说这个学期的两个free week都要回家..
可现在我还在美里...

我很想打电话给爸爸，
告诉他，
不要驾快车..
少抽烟..
早点睡..
可是我说不出口..

迷失

I lost again..
Can someone pull me back?

昨天做了个恶梦..
多希望它不是真的..
但它似乎要来临了..

回忆

在中学时，
只有在红心月会时拍过最多照片
也是在那时发生过最多难过和美好的回忆..
其实一进入中学，
是先进Girls' Brigade 两年..
Form 3没参加课外活动..
直到考完PMR，
要放假时才被拉进PBSM..
有几度想要退出..

这些照片是朋友FB那里偷来的..
看这些照片时，
真的有些都不知道自己在哪里..
真的很好笑..
那时也是人生中最黑的时候..
因为在太阳底下操步..





因为游泳池有比赛，
我们超开心地去duty，因为可以借此翘课..
我们可是legally absent class,
后面那个瘦巴巴戴眼镜的是老师来的..


超多奖杯..
不过有些是前辈他们赢回来的..


Annual General Gathering..
如果没猜错的话.. 不过忘了第几年的..
那时被人猛叫贵宾狗..


这个应该是Form 5 时..


哈哈.. 眼睛受伤了，还可以这么享受听MP3..


去参观儿童智障院？
忘记名字了..
要不是记得我穿着朋友的外套,
我都忘了我站在哪里..


超喜欢这张..
因为让我想起那时我的腰超细..
最自豪的腰..
lol..


Kem Kepimpinan..
如果没记错.. 在石山公园..


超黑.. 也是觉得最值得的..
那时一直练，
终于拿到第一还是第二.. 忘了..





学刊里Club的照片..
就只有PBSM的团照在校刊里最特别..
因为那时我是校刊会的Photographer..
Wuhoo~~
没有啦.. 是负责安排拍照的..
Photographer 是老师..


这个应该是老人院..


这个忘了为什么要拍..


石山公园


石山公园


石山公园


石山公园


PBSM concert..
倒数第二不想被人认出来的照片..


忘了是什么gathering了.. 2005
最不想被人认出来的照片..


erm.. 应该是在Form 5


这五个就是校刊会里的Photograph 部门里的会员拉..
也是最特别的照片在2007校刊里..
Muahahah..

Found my luck!

Good news!!
I found my student ID..
Luckily I didn't submit the form that I have filled..
hehe..

Another news....
I try to make myself busy...
yoga, swimming, jogging, hang out, homework, sleep, pps n study...
In order to eliminate the feeling of waiting...
When I am waiting,
I feel myself funny and lonely...
Don't know it is good or bad...



But still, I miss u... What to do?
Sometimes, really wan to fly to Perth...

Family makes me rich

刚刚跟姐姐chatting..
姐姐终于在外面开始学独立了
在chatroom里，
感觉上我是她姐姐..
说实话，
有时我会对我姐不耐烦的
尤其是回家久了
因为她总是用一种语气..
迟疑，问一些简单的东西..
我觉得我已经习惯避开她..
所以有时她还没开始说话，
我就觉得烦..
很坏的妹妹吧...

讲真，
我的想法始终如一..
她的病应该在很久以前就痊愈了..
现在，
我希望这次在外学习
能帮助她的病...
这样也减轻爸妈的负担

以前，家里每次越有争执时，
我越讨厌这个家
现在，erm..
我会觉得好笑当每次妈咪跟姐姐吵时..
吵架内容好笑
可是如果是妹妹先开始争执，
我就觉得她很放肆..
叛逆越来越严重..

我每次觉得家人对我说很重要..
可是..
发生什么事，尤其是不好的
我都不敢跟他们说..
他们都觉得我很独立，
其实那只是装出来的
从中学开始就开始披上一层皮..
不想让他们知道我的懦弱，胆小..
因为那可笑的自尊心..

家里发生过太多事情
虽然爸妈对我越来越好
还是会时不时想起过去不好的回忆
我知道是时候让它过去
可是...很难..
而且如果没有了那些回忆,
就没有现在这么想逞强的我..

未来有太多未知，
唯一不变的是家人...
永远都在那里...

面临严重

我真的觉得自己越来越没用
自信心也慢慢削减中..
人做错事是家常饭..
最重要是懂得去想办法挽回那个局面...
但我竟然在那里装傻..
超级无敌失败...
真的要怎样去形容自己..
我是不会感到罪恶感一辈子..
但我一辈子都在做错...
难过的是感觉朋友都懒得说教...
伤心的是感觉我在朋友里越来越不可靠..

改变。资格爱自己

怎么办？
还是没变...
刘丽欣，你可以变强一点吗？
duh..
最后人都不跟你玩才知道..
真的.. 需要改变..
越来越不喜欢自己..

长叹

唉~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
有没有什么办法让我不要没开始就停下来了...
唉~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
很讨厌！
自己都讨厌自己...

Lost

Yeah~~~
Finally I lost sth in tis sem...
I lost my student ID!!!!!!!!!!!
Arghhhhhhh!!!!!!
T.T

Gambateh!!

Must bestir myself!!
Is a new day again..
Don't think too much...
Concentrate on study...
Must !! After I wake up...
Don't let people underestimate you!!
At least done your part..
Beat down the target!!
YES!!
............................................
...........................................
But still in my deep down.....

Waiting

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Every time when i re-see the messages or when we are chatting,
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I will be happy and really feel that I am really lucky...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
But this feeling won't stay forever...
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Coz it is too late to appreciate it..
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Time won't let me to wait for so long..
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There are many people fight for it..
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My time is over..


Still remember that one day during my secondary school,
it is already night time,
my dad didn't show up...
I still waited and waited..
I tried many methods to diminish the feeling of waiting...
"Dad will come after I count all the stars"
"what to do? I can't finish to count"
"Can i pretend I finish?"
"Or maybe dad will come after 2 cars passed by"
Though I am used to wait...
I don't like it...
Feel scared and insecure...
Yet, it is the first time I felt hapIt py...
still... I am scared and insecure now..
Deserved...

.............

I lose my faith...
seriously, I really regret with it...
no matter how many failure I have met,
the only thing I want to do is rebuild the memory between us..

Finally know how poor, how bad am I...
I should let u go..
but I am no reconciled to...

New Sem = Spallation?

Is a new semester again...
happy? sad?
Not very happy and not very sad..
Just full of hopes...
Hope that I can do my work in time...
Hope that I am better than previous semesters..
Yet, thinking is easy, action is hard..
Still waiting for my spallation of mature..
Mature person does do the thing that s important..
Mature person does think carefully before act...
Mature person does complete his or her task efficiently...
Mature person don't panic in every situation...
Mature person don't cry easily, is strong...
These are my big goals....
Gambateh!!
Faith can move mountains.
Thus, I must have faith too..
Believe that I can success...